tranklements

Mary hit the enter key very hard, very quickly, more than a few times and then growled through gritted teeth. She wanted to do this about as much as she wanted to pull out her own teeth, but she picked up the phone and dialled. The first time through the oratory assault course she failed and ended up with a dead line. The second attempt was, she supposed, successful.
“Good Morning East Midland Trains how can I help you? You’re talking to Kevin.” The very un-Kevin-like voice greeted her.
“Hello,” sighed Mary as polite as she could muster, “I’d like to book a ticket I’ve seen on your website. I’ve booked it online but it’s stuck on the confirmation page.”
“Of course ma’am, which station are you travelling to?”
“From Brighton to Sheffield.”
“And the date?”
“The 23rd of February, the ticket I’ve seen is a single and leaves Brighton at 0637.”
“OK ma’am just checking for you.” There was a short pause and Mary held her breath for what she knew may be coming next.
“That train isn’t coming up on my system ma’am, there is no train at 0637.” Mary felt the frustration rising and took a deep breath.
“But it was showing as available and I booked it, but….”
“It will be the 0711 with 2 changes arriving in Sheffield 1207, at a price of £49. Would you like to book the ticket ma’am?”
“No no, hang on a minute, what about this 0637 train I saw on the website? Also the price was only £24.50.” Mary had the sneaking suspicion that Kevin was not actually listening to her.
“Ma’am the 0637 train does not exist and we only release a limited number of super duper saver advance like gold dust tickets.”
“But the website let me book it.”
“Website is not always 100% up to date ma’am.”
“What?” The agitation rose a few more centimetres, it had now climbed to the top of Mary’s chest. “I thought that was the whole point of a website?”
“Website is not real time ma’am. You must have tried to book a ticket that had actually been removed.”
“But, but it let me book it, it was advertised as available.” Mary was aware she was starting to sound less like the articulate no-nonsense woman who had initiated this exchange.
“I’m sorry ma’am, but it obviously is no longer available. I suggest you call back in a few days to see if any more tickets have been released at the time you want to travel.”
“No no no no no.” That was it, our Kevin had done it, he had sent Mary over the edge with just that one innocent word ‘obviously’ and she had not even heard the ridiculous instruction that came afterwards. In full flow she continued, “I want to buy the ticket as advertised on your website now, today, immediately please.”
“I’m sorry ma’am, I’m unable to do that.”
“Why not?”
“The computer won’t allow me to do that, there are no tickets.”
This was it, no more holding herself back, no more Mrs Reasonable, she did not give a damn how she sounded, “This is ridiculous, I’ve spent 2 hours of my morning trying to book this imaginary ticket. I’m only trying to get to Sheffield, not Narnia.”
“Excuse me ma’am?”
“Never mind. What’s the point in having a website if it’s not up to date?”
“I’m sorry about your experience today ma’am.” Replied Kevin who sounded as if he had heard it all before.
“I’d like to talk to your supervisor or manager about this please.”
“Yes of course ma’am.” There was a short pause, enough for Mary to think she had been cut off. Then the voice came back,
“I can put you through to my supervisor now ma’am.”
“Hang on hang on before you do, what’s their name? In case I get cut off.” Mary found a pen that didn’t work and the back of an old envelope.
“His name is Frank ma’am but you won’t be cut off.”
“OK, Frank,” she scored into the paper with the useless pen, “And what’s the direct telephone number?”
“It’s 08456……”
“That’s the main number I originally rang, don’t you have a direct number in case I get cut off?” Mary said, feeling the power slipping away.
“That is the number ma’am. Don’t worry ma’am I’ll put you through now, you won’t be cut off.” And with those merry words the inevitable happened. Nothing.